What parts of my life don't reflect who I am?

Compelling questions help to focus us to think more deeply and opens the door to self-examination.

Personal Values

Understanding is the key.

I’ve found that the times in my life when I’ve felt the most unsure are also the times in my life when I’ve been unclear of my personal values. The better I understand my personal values, the more centered I feel and the better I can make decisions. Having a clear understanding of our personal values is important for both happiness and success. Without this information we won't know what really matters and we’re likely to be in conflict with our life goals. This can be unfulfilling and stressful.

By having a clear understanding of our values, we can more easily find motivation and sustain the enthusiasm and drive needed to achieve our goals. We also use our personal values to evaluate our actions. For example, typically when we act in way that is not aligned with our values we feel out of sorts.

Here are some tips to live in alignment with your values.

Define your values.

Personal value are those things that are most important you, those things that must be true for you to lead a happy and fulfilled life. your values are also the things that really motivate you would you are living in accordance with your personal values you fight like a filling and satisfying.

Values are not set in stone, but they can change over time. If you think back over your life, you may be able see that what you valued as a teenager may have changed a bit as your matured. When you were a child or values probably came from your parents or other significant adults. Later, your peers and social environment influenced your personal values. As an adult, it’s important to examine your personal values and ensure that they are still serving you and the goals that you have. If they aren’t, it’s possible to change them.

Take an inventory.

We’re going to make two lists. For the first list, write down all the values that are important to you. Don’t think too much at this stage. This should be a very quick exercise. Just write down 15-20 values that pop into your head. If you’d some help with getting started, just click here for a list of over 80 values. VALUES LIST

It’s common to feel that you should hold a certain value. This may be because your family or friends hold this value. But it doesn’t mean that value is right for you. For the second list, sit quietly and think about what is really important in life for you. To help with this process, remember a time in your life when you felt a spark, when you felt super motivated, maybe to learn a new skill, or go on an adventure, or meet a new person. Many times, those feelings are a personal value. Go through this process several times until you have list of 5-10 values.

Now compare the two lists and take note of any values that are the same. These values are central to you. You nay also find that there are several values that are similar or overlap; for instance, honesty and trustworthiness. Combine any overlapping values under the term that is most compelling to you.

From this process, you should have a list 4 to 8 value that accurately describe what is important to you in your life.

Now that you have a clear view your personal values you can spend some time thinking about what actions that you can take to demonstrate those values in your life. You can also use these values as a lens to examine different parts of your life and determine if your actions are taking you closer to living that value or further away.

Now that you understand what’s important to you in life, I encourage you to filter your decisions through your values. Start with very small decisions to practice. After a while, when you need to make an important decision, you’ll be ready.